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MARRIAGE : The day you finalize your marriage date, wedded bliss and happily ever after is all that you can think of. No negative feelings or failures at any point even touch your mind for a single moment. But the days of you is only a matter of conception. Marriage is all about struggle for togetherness, sustainability and proving your love for each other. Leave it like standing water and you are bound to gather muck and filth in your relationship.
Believe it or not, marriage works both ways. It is not only give-give or take-take. It is give and take. What most people don’t understand is that they start taking each other for granted when their marital life starts questioning them. A relationship based on questioning is a relation not worth lining. Therefore all you wonderful married people living happily is not just a saying. You have to get up and make that happen.
To make you marriage work for ever a few unavoidable things need to be understood.
Your life, your Interests: Every person has their own likings. Even couples who are extremity compatible have different choices. If the husband loves adventure, the wife might be a soft person and would prefer indoors. Respecting each others likes and dislikes is the safest routes to each other’s hearts.
To pursue one’s liking friends are the best bet. Chose friends who have the same likings. For instance if the husband loves outdoors, always cribbing that his wife does not accompany him will make the relation sour.
The longing for someone new: With each and every option open for infatuation seeds thrown in places like workplaces or outings like discos, excursions make you feel attracted towards the person of the opposite sex. The new man or the woman might lure into fantasize your carnal desires and make you forget your married life. That might only lead you to problems and disasters for the future. Simply holding back will make you prevent disasters. Believing in your family makes you steadfast to pursue your long lasting relationship with your spouse. Just like a drug hits you on a new high and leaves you feel deprived later, a new relationship makes you feel the same way. Avoid it.
Continue Dating: It is equally important to continue dating even when you have been married for a longer time but with your life partner. Imagine your spouse in the same way when you met him/her. The feelings you had if no longer are the same, try imagining. You are bound to feel elated with a rush of adrenaline. Avoid talking about domestic issue like kids, laundry, school, bills, relative issues, interference from in-laws. Just begin and end a meal with sweet talking and nothing else.
Believe in God: It is true. Just as you tied the knot in the presence of God, you felt the showers of his blessing on you. Visiting holy religious places together places an important role in maintaining a healthy relationship. This habit helps the kids to follow the same pattern of worshipping since they see their parents practicing the same thing regularly. The family that prays together stays together.
Indulge in some hobby: We all have hobbies. The only sad thing is that once someone enters into our lives, our personal interests take a back seat and his/her interests matter everything to you. You tend to put in your happiness or sad quotient only in relation with him. You tend to forget yourself and the only thing that matters is him/ her. But it is unfair towards you. It is very important to give some time to yourself too. Indulging in some hobby helps you to unwind in your own company. You begin to recognize yourself more. Other distractions like an illusionary love affair could be at bay if you center yourself to some creative outlook. This works well for both the genders. Opting for options like dancing, painting, music or writing helps you to feel more connected with yourself.
Stay in the company of like minded people: To make marriages work it is necessary to be in the company of like minded people. People who are very committed always prove as good role models for their friends. Similarly couples with bad habits like cheating proves bad examples for their peer group. Therefore choose friends with care and those that have positive influence over you.
Listen always: Often people stray because their spouse doesn’t bother to listen to them. They usually talk and their spouses either ignore and walk out or just talk back. Remember that for effective communication, it is important to listen carefully. In love the only thing people felt happy was that they were heard and not ignored.
Fight fair: It is important to prove your point while in an argument. Also it is important to confront yourself. If your spouse holds a valid reason to prove his/her point you should listen carefully and deal with the situation amicably.
Avoid being in the company of attractive colleague: Quite often being in the company of attractive colleagues brings out the urge to impress him/her. Simply avoid the uncomfortable situation. If things are not in control, talking about family members especially your spouse helps in making you feel loyal and committed. It would simply kill the infatuated feeling towards your attractive colleague.
Never argue: Fights temporarily start off with general statements. Then they change into personal remarks and then there is no turning back. Words often spoken are never taken back. So be careful in selecting them and try avoiding arguments.
Marriages are made in heaven but sustained on Earth. It is solely in your hands. A marriage is just like a tender plant. Nourishment through love, care, understanding is as vital as sunlight and water to the new plant. Just as the plant grows beautifully, the marriage lasts longer and grows every day into a strong and healthy relationship. Just as a plant faces rough climatic conditions and refuses to die out, similarly a healthy relationship should not be shunned down by quarrels, conflicts, anger, misjudgments and misunderstanding, doubts etc. These tough times can be taken as challenges to grow into a ripe fruit or a healthy relation. The strength of the marriage depends on the way of coping hard times. The deeper is the love the sooner they will emerge out of the conflict. With confidence in yourself and faith in the other you can face problems fare and square in a non-defensive manner, which will bring you closer to one another. Think Positive and BIG for happy married life...
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