Children are easily influenced by their surroundings. These days, it is extremely difficult to expose our children to an ideal environment given the influences from media, friends and even other members of the family.
With television, radio, Internet and forms of media mostly touting un-Sikhism values, it is up to parents and adults close to the children to set the correct example.
It is impossible to shield our children from all the negative forces that can shape their minds and, ultimately, their behavior.
However, by our own example and showing them better options, we can set them on the true path, which is to obey HIS (Prabh ji/God) order.
Here are some tips you may want to follow in helping your children grow up with true values.
START BY TEACHING THEM THE IMPORTANCE OF WORSHIPPING ONLY PRABH JEE (WAHEGURU/GOD) : The best thing any Sikh parent could ever teach their children is to emphasize, from the day they can comprehend, that Waheguru (God) is One and no one is worthy of worship except HIM. This is the fundamental message of our Guru’s and it is our key to Paradise .
TREAT THEM KINDLY: Kindness begets kindness. If we were kind to your children, they in turn would show kindness to others. Our Guru’s was the best example in being kind to children.
TEACH THEM BY EXAMPLES OF SIKH HEROES: Instead of Batman or Superman, tell them about real heroes such as Saheed Bhai Mani Singh ji, Bhai Mati Das ji, Bhai Taru Singh ji, Baba Banda Singh Bahadar jee, Baba Deep Singh jee, Maharaja Ranjit Singh and others. Tell them how our Guru’s brought a real peaceful change in the world and won the hearts of all.
LET CHILDREN SIT WITH ADULTS: It is preferable for children to be among adults, especially when sharing Gurabni wichar (lectures on true Guru).
MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT: Consult them in family matters. Let them feel they are important members of the family and have a part to play in the growth and well being of the family.
GO OUT AS A FAMILY: Take family trips rather than allowing your children to always go out only with their friends. Let your children be around family and friends from whom you want them to pick up their values. Always remember that your children will become who they are around with most of the time. So, watch their company and above all give them YOUR company.
PRAISE THEM: Praise is a powerful tool with children, especially in front of others. Children feel a sense of pride when their parents’ praise them and will be keen to perform other good deeds. However, praise must be limited to Sikhism deeds and deeds of moral value.
AVOID HUMILIATION: Similarly, do not humiliate them in front of others. Children make mistakes. Sometimes, these mistakes occur in their efforts to please the parents. If you are unhappy with your children, tell them in private.
SPORTS: Encouraged them for sports such as swimming, running and horse riding. Other sports that build character and physical strength are also recommended, as long as the children maintain their Sikhism identity, wear appropriate clothes and do not engage in unnecessary mixing.
RESPONSIBILITY: Have faith in their abilities to perform tasks. Give them chores to do in line with their age. Convince them that they are performing an important function and you will find them eager to help you out again.
DON’T SPOIL THEM: Children are easily spoiled. If they receive everything they ask for, they will expect you to oblige on every occasion. Be wise in what you buy for them. Avoid extravagance and unnecessary luxuries. Take them to an orphanage or poor area of your city once in a while so they can see how privileged they are.
DON’T BE FRIENDS: It is common in the West for parents to consider their children as friends. If you have ever heard how friends talk to each other, then you will know that this is not how a parent-child relationship should be. You are the parents, and they should respect you, and this is what you should be teaching them. The friendship part should be limited to you and them keeping an open dialog so they can share their concerns with you and ask you questions when they have any.
PRAY WITH THEM: Involve them in acts of worship. When they are young, let them see you in act of performing daily duty toward Waheguru. Soon, they would be trying to imitate you. Wake them up for pray as a family do. Talk to them about the rewards of Prayer so that it doesn’t feel like a burden to them. Tell them to be thankful for having eyes that see, ears that hear, arms and legs and, the ultimate blessing, Waheguru (God) in their hearts.
SET AN EXAMPLE: As parents, you are the best example the children can have. If you talk to your parents rudely, expect your children to do the same to you. If you are disrespectful to others, your children will follow too. Sikhism is filled with Divine advice on the best ways to bring up your children. That makes it an obligation upon parents to be good Sikh parents so their children will try to emulate them. If you don’t take Sikhism seriously, neither will your children. It goes back to our third point, which is to give them Sikhism heroes. As a parent, you should be their number one hero.
If a child lives with CRITICISM,
He learns to CONDEMN.
If a child lives with HOSTILITY,
He learns to FIGHT.
If a child lives with RIDICULE,
He learns to be SHY.
If a child lives with SHAME,
He learns to feel GUILTY.
If a child lives with TOLERANCE,
He learns to be PATIENT.
If a child lives with ENCOURAGEMENT,
He learns to be CONFIDENT.
If a child lives with PRAISE,
He learns to APPRECIATE.
If a child lives with FAIRNESS,
He learns JUSTICE.
If a child lives with SECURITY,
He learns to have FAITH.
If a child lives with APPROVAL,
He learns to LIKE HIMSELF.
If a child lives with ACCEPTANCE and FRIENDSHIP,
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